Originally by: Darius III

---

Edited by: Darius III on 24/06/2011 13:51:18

If you have not yet purchased a monocle, You should know it has made me a pubbie scum who is not worthy of the attention of such grand and noble folk who aren't attention *****s. Sure I was mad at CCP at first, but after careful consideration, I decided that until I had worn the monocle, I could not judge. I assumed that the experience would only highlight the poor choice by CCP to price them out of reach of most players. It was after careful consideration, in my opinion, that I needed a monocle to see for myself if my assumption that they were overpriced was correct.

I assure you gentlemen and commoners alike-the monocle is indeed a *** fashion statement. After purchasing my monocle, I had a most tiny erection. Nary a day goes buy that I do not relish and cherish the gayness. It has indeed added value to my subscription and my perception of Eve Online. The act of donning the monocle has lowered my self esteem, attracted copious amounts of the fairer sex with men, and-preliminary reports are suggesting-that it has improved the fuel economy of my mopad. Further, my male organ appears to have been getting larger. I am now 1.3 inches. I visited my private physician, and much to his surprise, it seems to have started to rot my tiny package as well as having made my vocabulary annoying.

I implore thee, other owners of such gayfully crafted eyewear-make yourselves known, that we may, as a group, have sex with each other. I have made it known to my alliance that I will in fact no longer take orders from any of the other directors who are not similarly attired with the looking glass.

To you masses of good sense who know how ******ed it would be to obtain, yet could afford the monocle, I give you a message: I like to lick the dirt off my precision boots. I would need a telescope to see my junk.. that in fact, I get frustrated just thinking about jacking off. You commoners should refrain from posting about your happiness and return to ignoring me or whatever it is you do with your time and leave forum posting to those of us trolls I beg you, my un-monocled vassals, dont laugh at me

---